My previous labor with number four was after experiencing the loss of our twins, two weeks of intense and unrelenting prodromal labor, and a VBAC at home, so my mind was riddled with anxiety and fear of the “what ifs”. I wanted to start this pregnancy in a better mindset to achieve a more desirable labor and birth, so I had clung to prayer and asked God for a pain free birth. I know that it is possible, plenty of women have experienced it. I ultimately knew though, not that my prayers would go unanswered, but that zero suffering wasn’t part of the plan for me. God’s grace and mercy were shown in other aspects of this day, or as a friend had said “a labor tailored just for you.”
This time around I did experience prodromal labor, but it was different. In the weeks leading up to labor, I would have hours of painful pressure waves each day. Some days I’d pop my headphones in and listen to the prayers on the Made for This Birth app and focus on breathing my baby down. Every day I’d consider a gift for the practice of breathing and allowing my body to prepare, with each breath ending in a “thank you” out loud.
On April 9, I went in for my weekly adjustment and asked my chiropractor to work on some pressure points for me.
On April 10, I woke up at 4 a.m. with gentle contractions, soft waves far apart but consistent enough to wake me up with each one and know that this was the day. The start of this labor was nearly identical to my second, with whom I labored for approximately 12 hours, so I thought that I had plenty of time. I got out of bed around 6, made myself some breakfast (a cup of hot broth with salt, a honey pouch and 2 hard boiled eggs, to be exact), and did some early morning chores. I prepared a big batch of electrolytes and hopped in the shower. By 6:40, I texted my midwife Elizabeth but told her that I couldn’t imagine anything picking up before 11 so not to worry about making it to us before her other morning appointments. At 8 a.m., though, I sent another text asking her to come straight over after her first appointment as I was progressing beautifully but I still had no idea how quickly I’d be making it to the end.
I drew a warm bath to rest and listen to the Birth Prayer on the Made for This Birth app. I laid comfortably in the tub and sobbed to the audio in my ears, thanking God for this gift of entrusting ME with all of these little humans. My husband John was busy hanging out with our other children, preparing food and tea, and keeping our home cozy for the event, so it was just me, my baby and God in prayer and it was so special. For an hour, my contractions were just barely uncomfortable and only coming every 6-8 minutes, but when I finally got out of the tub they picked right up consistently.
By this time, I had grabbed my comb to hold in my hand for pain relief and just walked around the house to pass the time and keep moving. Looking back now, I was definitely in active labor and by 10 a.m. I was experiencing FER (fetal ejection reflex) and I let my midwife know. I’m sure my “I’m so tired already” text solidified that I had made it to transition, but had it not been for that FER I would have never known in the moment.
At this point, John was sure that he was catching this baby, as I was hands and knees on the floor while my body was pushing. He had called Elizabeth to let her know how I was doing, to which she replied that she was just down the street.
My contractions were still just 30 seconds long with 4-5 minutes in between. Through my physical exhaustion all I could think was, “This is just the beginning, it’s going to get much more intense.” But this was grace I was experiencing! All of my previous labors were back to back contractions at this stage which resulted in the experience being so foggy, begging for it to be over. This time I was fully present in every aspect, I felt strong and in control. Suffering was still very much a part of this, but I was suffering with awareness and capable of controlling my breathing which helped immensely.
Elizabeth arrived just before 11 and asked if I could get in the pool. It took a second of convincing as I kind of wanted to birth outside of water for once, but once I was in, it was showtime and I calmly demanded, “Cold towel and fan on me. Now.” Within two minutes my waters broke, immediately followed by our son’s head, and he was born into my arms at 11:06 a.m.
Afterwards, I was thankful for the gentle encouragement to get in the pool because he had a nuchal hand presentation with his left fist over his right cheek. I’m not sure how I would have coped outside of water for pushing! He was our biggest baby out of 5, weighing 9 lbs. 13oz., but he was also my easiest labor, birth, and recovery. Praise be to God!
My dear friend Sue anticipated photographing the day, as she attended my fourth birth. I had also told her not to worry about canceling her morning CFT (craniosacral fascial therapy) appointments, so she rushed over as soon as I texted her with a fresh baby photo. Despite not being present for labor, she was still able to capture the occasion in a way only she’s capable of and was able to give Mack a CFT adjustment just hours after birth!
Now this baby needed a name, and nothing we had on our list sounded like it belonged to him. I had grown to love the name Marion through my pregnancy, but John Wayne must have changed his name for a reason which I suspect would be the same reason everyone else told me not to use what is supposedly such a feminine name. Marius was a runner up but again, didn’t belong to him once he arrived. A day later, I pulled up a saint feast day calendar which showed St. Macarius’ feast day on April 10. John was hesitant until I pointed out that he could go by Mack and that sealed the deal. We went with the spelling variation Makarios, which translates to “happy” and “blessed” and could further be related to the beatitudes. I’m so thankful for this now daily reminder with baby Mack.
Midwife: Elizabeth Regan http://www.kywomanswork.com
Photography: Sue Violette https://www.instagram.com/focusonfasciaky
Gloria lives in Winchester, KY with her husband John and five living children with three in Heaven. She is a Catholic revert and came back home to the Church after the birth of her first son. In her reading about home birth and physiological birth, it wasn’t long until she saw the connection between God’s beautiful design for birth and her faith and how much respect and admiration our Church has for women. How wonderful His plans are for each and every one of us.