A Catholic Postpartum: Our Simple Biblically-Based Plan for Postpartum Rest
- Mary Haseltine
- 1 day ago
- 10 min read
How should a mother recover and rest postpartum? How can she do that through the lens of her faith?
In every culture until modern times, there have been cultural practices, routines, and ritual surrounding the postpartum time. Humanity has always recognized, to varying degrees, that this time was critical for mothers and babies to heal, bond, rest, recover, and establish healthy feeding for the baby. Modern American culture, highly influenced by the industrial revolution, all but erased this critical season in favor of productivity, "bouncing back", and a distorted perception of femininity and motherhood. Countless women, babies, marriages, and families have suffered because of this loss. Disregarding the pivotal postpartum time leads to significant physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual consequences, some of them long term and some of them with disastrous consequences to her, her baby, her marriage, and the rest of her family. Things like postpartum depression, anxiety, rage, pelvic organ prolapse, a low milk supply, colic, mineral depletion, chronic disease, and more can often be a direct result of a postpartum recovery that was ignored or rushed through. There is now a growing movement within our communities and the birth world seeking to reclaim what was lost and once again honor this postpartum time, not only for our physical health, but for the mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing for us and our families.
While there are other recommendations out there (like the new "5-5-5 Rule") we wanted to offer something simpler to remember, something deeply rooted in the tradition of our Faith, and something that better reflects the common practice of many cultures throughout history and the world. This is not an imposition but an invitation. This is not about legalism or restriction but about honoring the profound work God has done in us and the dignity of our bodies and babies. We'd say it's actually about true freedom and living the full and integrated life to which we are called. It is not "required" nor is it always possible, but we believe it is worth considering and prioritizing.
(Scroll down to find a quick printable of these guidelines!)
THE SACRED SEVEN
For the first SEVEN days after birth, the mother stays in bed as much as possible with her baby. Unless an emergency, she does not leave the house and ideally she is not leaving her bedroom or bed/couch except to briefly shower, use the bathroom, stretch her legs, lie in the sun, etc.
ROOT: This practice is rooted in the idea of the days of creation and God resting on the seventh day (Genesis 1). As women, we participate with God in new creation and honoring these first seven days in this way with TRUE and authentic rest and healing honors the work He has done in us and through us - body, mind, heart, and soul. It also honors and protects the very real needs of the baby for feeding, bonding, and physiological regulation and development (nervous, respiratory, heartrate, temperature, etc.).
General guidelines for the Sacred Seven days:
Mother stays in bed with her baby skin-to-skin as much as possible.
Breastfeeding is on demand.
Meals are frequently brought to her. Meals should be nourishing and made with whole foods rather than heavily-processed convenience foods or nutritionally sparse ingredients. Priority should be given to soups, stews, "warming foods", healthy fats, protein, and comfort foods.
Absolutely no chores are expected or done by her.
Snacks and drinks are kept close by the bed.
Mother remains in very comfortable pajamas and is often bare chested to facilitate bonding, breastfeeding, and to promote a healthy milk supply.
Getting outside and sitting or lying in the sunshine for brief periods is encouraged for both emotional and physical health if it can remain a restful and peaceful experience.
Naps are encouraged as much as possible.
Unless there is an emergency, appointments with pediatricians, lactation help, doctors, midwives, etc. wait until after this date unless they can be done at home.
If possible at home, body work such as massage therapy, foot rubs, and chiropractic visits are encouraged.
Herbal baths are helpful for recovery and can be done several times during the week.
Visits from non-immediate family occur only in the bedroom and by people whose presence offers encouragement, service, love, support, or comfort. NO obligatory or stressful visits expected or entertained. NO visits from anyone who will not respect the need to breastfeed on demand. Visitors should not wear strong perfumes or detergents. They should not expect or ask to hold the baby unless the mother offers and desires.
Husband, family members, friends, postpartum doula, or others can tend to household needs as desired by the mother.
Very gradually during the seven days, mother increases movement within the room and house.
PLAN AHEAD:
To prepare for the Sacred Seven, make sure to have your room ready before birth. Prepare a shelf or table with snacks, drinks, any necessary breastfeeding supplies. Have your bathroom well stocked with pads and other postpartum supplies. Make sure your pantry is well stocked with non-perishable foods and household goods. Have everything needed for baby bought or out from storage and ready before the birth. Unless completely impossible, ensure that your husband is able to take at least a week off of work. Assess the help you will have available to you and how you best see that supporting you. Consider who could set up a meal train for you and have plenty of meals stocked in your freezer. If you have older children, plan now for who will be primarily tending to them during this week. Consider the idea of a postpartum doula, cleaning services, in-home lactation help, massage therapy or chiropractic visits, meal services, etc. and book them if possible. Have those resources and numbers ready so they can come soon after baby is born.
DAY 8 (or thereabouts)
The mother and baby leave the home for the baby's baptism and a blessing for the mother.
ROOT: This idea reflects the Biblical mandate in the Old Testament to circumcise on the 8th day (Lev. 12:3). We know that baptism now replaces circumcision as our entrance into the New Covenant so it is fitting for it to also take place on or around that same time frame. This decision models the Holy Family who fulfilled the Old Testament law for Jesus on the eighth day (Luke 2:21). We are also required by canon law to baptize our babies within the first few weeks (Canon 867.1) and historically baptisms occurred within days or a few weeks of birth. Making effort to baptize on or around this time helps prioritize that obligation and the spiritual needs of the child and is a testimony to the importance and necessity of baptism. The 8th Day is also symbolic of the Resurrection of Christ and we recognize that baptism is the child's very real participation in His Death and Resurrection (Romans 6:4-5).
The baptism should be kept as beautifully simple as possible to highlight the importance and centrality of the sacrament and to not be too overwhelming or physically taxing on mother or baby. Her physical needs and the baby's need to breastfeed should be prioritized and accommodated. There is no large party but if desired, a baptismal party is replaced by a welcoming party at the end of the 40 days or after.
PLAN AHEAD:
Baptizing at this time requires planning and forethought on the part of the parents. It means that they should have everything set up with their parish before the baby is born so that they can easily call and schedule it without any issue once the baby is born. Contact your parish or priest in your second or third trimester and find out what needs to be done to have your baby baptized and get that done. If a parish is putting up unreasonable or illicit barriers to baptism, consider looking into and joining a different one. Choose your Godparents while pregnant and ensure that they send in any required paperwork to the parish well before the birth. (More thoughts on planning your baby's baptism here!)
***We fully recognize that this is not often the norm in our culture. Parishes, individual priests, or circumstances may make this difficult and there may be other factors that sometimes need to be considered in planning the baptism that could make this ideal unattainable including how well the mother is healing, if there were significant complications in the birth, and more. However, we would maintain that prioritizing baptism in this way and at this time is worth exploring, planning for, and working toward when possible. Even if baptizing on or around day eight is not possible, parents (and the parish) are still obliged to have the baby baptized within the first few weeks.***
We believe it would be a beautiful gift to new parents and recognize the importance of baptism, the child's soul, the dignity of motherhood, and the dignity of the body for the Church to someday offer and encourage baptism routinely in the home, instituting a process where the priest comes directly to the home to baptize the baby at or around this time. The baby and mother together could then be welcomed into the wider community on or after the 40 days rest through a rite specific to that, thus also reclaiming the traditional rite of "churching" of the new mother.
THE FORTY DAYS REST
Mother and baby spend the next 32 days (a total of 40 after birth) set apart - resting, healing, bonding, and not back to normal life.
ROOT: In Scripture, God obliges women to not take part in normal life after their birth for a full 40 days after the birth of a son, and 80 days after the birth of a daughter. (See Leviticus 12.) While we are not obliged to that same law regarding blood and purity, we would be foolish to not see the wisdom in the idea and to ignore that a similar period of rest is culturally expected in nearly every other culture and place throughout history, save for our modern western one. Even in our modern era, though, there is a pitiful remnant of that idea - "six weeks" (42 days) is usually the time when the mainstream system wraps up her maternity care with a last appointment with her doctor or midwife and no longer considers her postpartum. The number forty is also used consistently in Scripture as a number representing fulfillment.
On February 2 every year, Christians mark the feast of the Presentation in the Temple. This is the day that Mary herself ended her postpartum confinement and she and Joseph take their newborn Son to the temple, as prescribed by Jewish law (Luke 2:22). During that 40 days, she rested. She honored the work of God within her and through her. And in a culture where often we value ourselves or even measure our holiness by how productive we are, it is imperative that we remind ourselves that none of us are holier than she was. She rested and her rest was holy work, honoring what God had done. We should be following her example and honoring that postpartum time, too, as much as able with whatever circumstances we have. No, we aren’t bound by the same law anymore but her example should give us pause. Your work is not more important than hers and if anything, we need the healing, rest, and recovery more.
Doing too much too soon postpartum is a prescription for postpartum depression, anxiety, pelvic floor issues, breastfeeding struggles and supply issues, excessively prolonged bleeding (even hemorrhage), increased pain, and a more difficult and prolonged healing and recovery from birth. Reclaiming the idea of 40 (or 80!) days of a "lying in" honors God, our bodies, our babies, and helps us to become healthier mothers for the long term. It allows us to be more open to life in the future. It allows us to better honor and live out our vocation. It teaches our children the value of pregnancy, birth, and new life.
General guidelines for the rest of the 40 Days:
Mother still spends a significant portion of the day in bed or sitting and nursing, though it gradually decreases over the days.
Mother stays in comfortable clothes, easy to breastfeed in.
Meals for the family are provided by friends, family, neighbors, meal train, husband, or from freezer meals prepped during pregnancy. Meals should still be nourishing, warming, high protein, high calorie, and comforting.
Older children are often tended to by others - dad, relative, friend, postpartum doula, etc. Otherwise, mothering is done as much as possible "from the couch" and the house set up to enable that to happen.
Mother leaves the home sparingly, only for things deemed urgent, necessary, or truly delightful and for no more than 2-3 hours.
If possible, massage therapy, chiropractic visits, or other appointments are in home or very easy to access and get to.
No obligations, commitments, or volunteering are taken on by the mother outside the family. This is the time to say no.
PLAN AHEAD:
In addition to what was mentioned in the plans for the Sacred Seven, during pregnancy, write out a list of freezer meals that you can prep in your third trimester. Make it a goal to have at least 24 dinners frozen before birth as well as other desired breakfast or snack foods. You will never regret having extra meals on hand! In your third trimester, take care of any necessary appointments for yourself or older children. Have as many bills paid out as far ahead of time as possible as you can. Do NOT take on any commitments or volunteer for activities or events that will occur during the first two months postpartum. Assess how much time your husband can take off of work and take advantage of that.
We are given the absolutely stunning opportunity of bringing forth life and being a vessel of God's eternal creation. These babies would not exist, if not for our bodies and our cooperation with God. This is the most important work we could be doing and this season of bringing forth life deserves our utmost respect and reverence. What does it say about how we value life and babies if we do not truly honor that this work is worthy of rest and time set apart?
We are called to honor this time, not ignore it, brush it off, or rush through it and get back to "normal" as quickly as possible. This time with this baby will never be granted to us again. We have been given a new image of Him. It’s not holy to rush through it or pretend you’re above it or don't need to recover physically. Not only does this harm us but it can also harm our babies.
No, in this culture it is not easy to honor this time. It is not widely supported. There might be older kids to take care of and you have your own individual circumstances and situation to take into account. This isn’t about guilt but about doing the best we can to honor this amazing work of pregnancy, birth, and bringing another divine image into the world. Don’t share the regret of so many other mothers of how they treated postpartum, allowing the pressures of others or themselves to strip this precious time of its sacred shroud.
It will take a good amount of prioritizing, planning, and forethought but do what is possible in your own unique circumstances and plan ahead to set this precious time apart. Allow it to bring God glory and thanksgiving and to bear powerful fruit for you, your baby, and your family. Allow yourself to see the holiness of sacred rest.
Download and print our Quick Guide to a Catholic Postpartum below!
