"I Had No Idea Labor Could Be So Enjoyable": Emily's Redemptive and Euphoric Birth at Home with Her Second Baby

Leading up to Wilhelmina’s birth, we prayed every night in our family Rosary for a peaceful labor. Our first birth had been a terrifying and traumatic event. Our planned birth center birth had been transferred to the hospital where I was diagnosed with preeclampsia, and after three excruciating days of labor my daughter was rushed to the NICU. This experience prompted us to choose a home birth for our second pregnancy.

The care we received from our home birth doctor was night and day difference from the hospital setting. She wore casual clothing rather than scrubs and a white coat, which put my husband and me at ease. We sat on the floor chatting as my baby played with the toys in her cozy office. My appointments were one hour long, and nothing was off the table to discuss. She made me feel safe, and I knew she would never coerce, pressure, or frighten me into making a decision.

The pregnancy itself was particularly difficult. I suffered from frequent gallbladder attacks that were so excruciating I could hardly breathe through them. I couldn’t take ibuprofen and the pain didn’t yield to any other pain medication. When I felt an attack coming on, I could only curl up on the floor and wait for it to pass, sometimes for hours. Although this was a heavy burden on me (and my husband), I believe the constant exercise of bearing the painful attacks helped me mentally and spiritually prepare for labor. In a way, it was a blessing.

I also experienced debilitating sacroiliac joint and pelvic pain that would leave me bedridden for days. Only frequent Webster chiropractic adjustments, massages, and arnica oil helped ease the discomfort. I offered up the sufferings daily for a peaceful home birth.

My mother and sister were a huge help throughout the pregnancy. They would drive over an hour to help me cook and clean, and to spend time with my toddler. My husband Matthew also went above and beyond to care for us. He reminded me frequently how much he loved me and appreciated the work I was doing in growing our child. I felt terrible about how little I was physically capable of accomplishing, but my community poured sacrificial love over me and served me selflessly in my time of need.

My first pregnancy had lasted over 41 weeks before I was transferred and induced, so as 40 weeks came and went in my second pregnancy, I was not surprised. However, my gallbladder attacks became so frequent and severe that we considered going to the emergency room. We knew that might result in a hospital admission and another induction. It came to a point where my home birth doctor offered a membrane sweep to encourage labor. She left the decision completely up to me and I prayed about it. Although I had really desired to go into labor naturally, my discernment was telling me that a membrane sweep was the right decision. We decided to try it.

Around 3 a.m. the next morning, at 40 weeks and 5 days, I woke up having mild contractions. When I went to the bathroom I had a bloody show. I timed contractions for a while (40 seconds long every 5 minutes) then went back to sleep. I woke again at 8 a.m. still having contractions. I had been practicing the relaxation meditation on the Made for This app every night for weeks. All of the exercises absolutely paid off and I was able to breathe through contractions for hours without experiencing any discomfort. Although they were frequent, they were not painful at all! I labored all day and texted my doctor occasional updates.

My mom and sister fed me and massaged my feet while Matthew finished up some last minute tasks. I was completely relaxed and “in the zone.” Matthew asked if I wanted my Gregorian chant playlist on, but I was so focused I told him I preferred no music.

At 3 p.m. after I had been laboring for 12 hours, I noticed an increase in intensity and decided to give my doctor a call. Contractions were lasting over a minute every 3 minutes. I started using my labor comb to get through them. Although it was taking focus to get through the contractions, they didn’t feel painful at all yet, just more intense. My doctor listened to me breathe through a contraction and told me to update her again in an hour.

Around 4 p.m. my contractions increased in intensity and started double peaking. I had my husband call the doctor and she told us she was on her way. I had to moan and vocalize loudly through the waves and had Matthew start giving me hip compressions.

At 4:30 p.m. our doctor arrived and immediately told Matthew to start filling up the birth tub. She called the assistant nurse midwife to come as well. I got in the tub and the warm water was such a relief. Being in the birth tub didn’t remove the intensity of the contractions, but it soothed me.

Around 5 p.m. I could feel extremely intense pressure and knew the baby was moving down slowly with every contraction. I was going through transition. I felt like my back was breaking with every wave. In that moment, fear filled my heart. I felt as though I was losing control and I called out to Jesus for help.

My contractions suddenly started to go away. I asked my doctor why they weren’t “working” and she suggested I switch positions from sitting onto my knees. I didn’t want to, but I knew intuitively that she was right, so I got on my knees and leaned over the edge of the birth tub.

As soon as I switched positions, the contractions returned and my body began to push involuntarily! I also began to involuntarily make grunting noises. I felt so out of control, but I knew the end was near.

The amniotic sac finally burst and I started to feel a burning sensation with every contraction. I yelled “it burns!” and my doctor told me I couldn’t run from the pain and I had to lean into it. In that moment I locked into focus again. I knew I had to slow down if I wanted to avoid tearing. I focused on slowing down to allow my perineum to stretch and breathed though the searing pain.

Finally I felt the baby crowning and her head emerged. I waited for the next contraction, and then her body came shooting out. I reached down and pulled her up to my chest. She let out a cry immediately!

After birthing the placenta, I experienced some extra bleeding, but my doctor handled it so calmly and quickly that the complication seemed completely insignificant. My husband brought me food and tucked me into bed where my doctor did the newborn exam (while wearing her own baby!) Our Wilhelmina weighed in at 9 lbs. 3oz. Despite her being on the larger side, I didn’t tear at all.

It took me a few minutes to get my bearings, but then the euphoria set in. Our prayers for a peaceful birth had not only been answered, but surpassed in an incredible way! Only the very last hour of my 14 hour labor had been uncomfortable. I had no idea labor could be so enjoyable.

My birth plan had been followed perfectly and never questioned. I knew my doctor and midwife were Christians and shared my deep trust in God‘s wise design for labor and birth. Our bodies and souls were treated with deep respect and the utmost dignity. I am so grateful to have experienced such a blissful redemptive birth.

Emily Esserman is a Catholic wife, and mother of three girls living in and loving Wisconsin. After initially discerning a religious vocation, she now lives in awe of the indescribable joys of motherhood and marriage. She enjoys thrifting, quilting, reading books, and going on walks with her beautiful family.