Praising God for Every Contraction: Erin's Fast Home Birth of Her Third Baby

“Think of the Lord in goodness, and seek Him in simplicity of heart: For He is found by them that tempt Him not: and He showeth Himself to them that have faith in Him.” Wisdom 1:1-2

These words spoke to me as I sat in the Adoration chapel after another negative pregnancy test. Although it had only been a few months of trying, it was a difficult period of waiting for me. It was clear to me from these verses and from what God was doing in my soul that He desired me to surrender the timing of our next baby to Him and hope and trust in Him. All month I tried my best to pray prayers of surrender and hope to God whenever my desires for pregnancy or fear and anxiety about it came up. God gave me such peace during that month that while I was sad about the thought of continued waiting, I had peace knowing God was in control and His will was best.

At the end of the month I had a lot of cramping, so I really didn’t think I was pregnant. My husband told me I should take a test anyway, and we were both shocked to see it was positive!! We were both so overjoyed and excited to welcome another baby into our family. While waiting and trusting God was hard in the moment, I can now see how the virtues I grew in during this time really helped me during pregnancy and birth. “We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

I was blessed to have a smooth pregnancy. I had nausea in the beginning, but physically felt the best I have out of all of my pregnancies. As the weeks went on and labor started to get closer, I began to realize how afraid I was of labor. Although I was blessed to have a smooth and healthy homebirth with my second, it was much harder than I had expected. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to cope with the intensity of birth and struggled to even want to have a natural labor. I shared this fear with my friend who was also pregnant at the time and she had similar feelings to me but she viewed birth as a necessary part of becoming the mother this next baby needed. Her view of birth as a transformative experience that helps you become a better and stronger mother really helped me regain my motivation.

While I was now more motivated, I was still afraid! A few friends recommended that I practice labor relaxation techniques while doing “ice contractions.” Nearly every night for the final month of my pregnancy my husband and I practiced different visualization, breathing, and other relaxation techniques while holding ice for one minute on, one minute off. While practicing, I recognized that the ice contractions were helping me, but I didn’t realize how helpful they were until I was in labor. During these final weeks I also took my fears about labor and birth to prayer. While telling God all of my fears, God spoke to my heart and simply said “what if everything goes right?” In that moment I realized I was so consumed by fear, I had never even thought it was possible for everything to go right. That day of prayer really helped me. I still had some fears I was planning to pray about and work through over the next few weeks but he ended up coming too early for me to anyway!

When I was 37+3, I went to FedEx to drop off a package and the woman working behind the register asked me how far along I was. When I told her I had three weeks to go, she told me there was no way I was making it more than a week, my bump was so low. I laughed and thought I would definitely go to 39 weeks! I had an intuition I would go early, but never thought more than a few days. I did have strong feelings during my 37th week that I needed to stop nesting, enjoy time with my other two kids and rest a lot. Mistakenly, I didn’t think much of it! 

The following Wednesday evening when I was 38+1 my husband and I were doing the ice contractions again, and afterward he told me he could tell I was so relaxed and thought I was ready for labor. I was encouraged by his confidence, but didn’t think I was ready yet. Early the next day I woke up around 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and noticed my underwear was soaked and did not smell like pee. I stood up, and more water started to flow out. I knew it was my water, but I didn’t want to believe it. I thought I had 2 more weeks to pray and think about birth! I was still afraid!

Baby was moving well and the fluid was clear and odorless so I decided to change and go back to bed, hoping maybe it was a small leak that would fix itself. Around 4 a.m. I woke up again and went to the bathroom to check. There was a lot more this time so I went and woke up my husband, called the midwives (they asked us to let them know if this happened), and started eating. With my second, my water broke at 10 p.m. but labor didn’t start till 3 a.m. and I was too nervous to sleep and didn’t think about eating. By the time that labor started, I was hungry and already so worn out. I didn’t want to make that mistake again, so I ate as much as I could stomach, asked God to let me get a few hours of sleep before labor began, texted a few friends asking for prayers, and went to sleep.

I woke up around 10 a.m. well rested and feeling ready for labor to start. When I woke up I had a brief thought that labor probably wouldn’t start till the night like it did with my other kids. Overall I felt pretty peaceful with that, but was still hopeful that maybe it would start sooner since I felt so ready and my husband’s confidence in me also helped me feel ready.

Around noon my midwife came over to check on baby and me. Baby sounded great and was moving great.  She did ask me to consider pumping and midwives' brew if things didn’t start by the evening. My doula came over a few hours later and did some stretches with me and then left. Throughout the day I felt peaceful and trusting until around 8 p.m. when my labor was still not showing any signs of progress. I really did not want to take the castor oil, but decided I needed some signs of labor by the morning to avoid the midwives recommending a hospital transfer. So I took the castor oil, pumped on and off for an hour, then waited.

Several hours went by, and still no sign of labor. My midwife told me to go to sleep and not stress. She was sure labor would start soon and it would be fast! At this point, I started breaking down and cried. The thought of Pitocin followed by the cascade of interventions really started worrying me, especially because I knew my risk of infection was so low and I knew that going to the hospital was not the best decision for my baby and me. My prayer from a few weeks ago about everything going right came to my mind and that brought me some comfort, but I was still nervous and upset with the situation. I prayed to every saint I had some devotion to, surrendered and entrusted my birth to God, and then fell asleep around 10:30 p.m.

Around 1:15 a.m. I woke up and heard an audible pop and immediately the bed was soaked. I was shocked that my water bag now had just fully broken since I had already leaked so much throughout the day! I went to the bathroom, changed, and woke my husband up. Around 1:30 a.m. the contractions started. They were real contractions, peaking in a wave, strong, and close together. I was so relieved labor had started! The day-long wait was tough but really was an answered prayer. I would not have felt ready and would have had a much harder time relaxing if labor had started when my water first broke the previous day. Now instead of fearing every contraction, I was praising God and so glad with each one, praying for another!

After going through five contractions, my husband called the midwife and doula. I had previously had fast labors, so my midwife said to call her as soon as I had a few intense contractions. I labored in the bed and on the toilet for most of the time. I would do five contractions on the bed side-lying holding the birth comb while my husband did counter pressure on my back. Then I would think “I can’t be in this bed any longer! I need the toilet!” So I’d walk to the toilet, do a few there, then go back to the bed. During all these contractions I really tried to put all my tension on the comb and relax the rest of my body, remind myself that this was productive pain, and keep my eyes closed. Rehearsing relaxation techniques with the ice helped me to know what was most useful to me and gave me many different things to try when one technique stopped working.

My midwife got there around 2:20 a.m., checked on baby and me, then started filling the tub. I wanted to shower during labor and did not want to use all the hot water for the tub and voiced that to her. But it was good she decided it needed to be filled immediately, because although I didn’t realize how far along I was I needed it soon! Around 2:40 a.m. I threw up on the toilet, and then walked to the bed again.

Around this time I started to have a lot of doubts about my ability to keep going. I learned from the ice that I really needed to use the breaks well and rebuild my mental strength. So in between these contractions I told myself that it was too late for the epidural, if I went to the hospital now they wouldn’t be able to give it to me. That helped me mentally so much, haha!! When I got back to the bed my midwife asked me if I had any downward pressure, which was so encouraging because that meant she thought I was close to pushing! With my second I had so many doubts about how far along I was and that made it so tough for me mentally.

Around 2:50 a.m. I started feeling strong downward pressure and knew he was coming. I told them I had to get in the tub now. I got out of bed and started walking to the tub, my midwife walked with me with a big pad and gloves under me looking like she was ready to catch a baby on the way. I got in the tub, had a very strong contraction, started pushing and he was born in two contractions within a minute or two of pushing.

I didn’t feel like I could catch him in the moment so they did and handed him to me. I held him and sat back so relieved and grateful to God! He was born exactly at 3 a.m., my fastest and smoothest labor yet - only 1.5 hours from my first contraction! I immediately thought wow that was hard but I could do that again!

What a difference from my first and second birth. Our third boy, James Michael, was born weighing 8 lbs. 9 oz. and 21.5 inches long.

I am so grateful to God for entrusting me with another baby and for all the graces He gave me throughout our time of waiting, pregnancy, and labor. Throughout all of these times I see how He was so present to me and how He guided me in many ways, too many to write down.

I hope my birth story encourages anyone who is afraid of birth that they can have a natural labor. If I can have a natural labor, anyone can.  Bring your fears to God and surrender and entrust them to Him.

Erin is blessed to be a stay at home mom of three boys living in Wake Forest, NC. She has been married to her husband, Connor, for five years.