Forever Changed: Bethany’s First Home Birth with Her Fourth Baby

This fourth pregnancy and birth was a culminating step in a transformation that had been unfolding in my life for the past several years toward a more holistic and intuitive understanding of health and wellness. Once I began to see the body in this new light—the light of God’s design, discernible through human understanding and intuition—it was impossible for my view of birth to remain unchanged.

I’d previously had three hospital births without an epidural, and by the third one it became clear that I was trying to force a natural experience into an inherently unnatural environment. I realized that I wanted not just an unmedicated birth, but a physiological one—and for that, the hospital environment was not serving me. When we found out about our fourth child, my husband and I both knew home birth was the right choice for us.

The Pregnancy

Throughout the pregnancy, I experienced a great deal of healing and greater connection to my body through regular chiropractic care, craniosacral therapy, targeted supplementation, and the Body Ready Method exercises. Crippling back pain and pubic symphysis pain that I had experienced in past pregnancies was non-existent or quickly corrected because of these supports. Early on, about a month into pregnancy, I experienced an acute bout of doubt and fear over the safety of home birth. It was early November at the time, and the Made for This Birth account reposted an article titled, The Memento Mori of Pregnancy and Birth. This profound reflection spoke directly to my fears that our fallen human nature - especially how fallen it seems to be today - could not be trusted to birth according God’s design. It reassured me that, despite the fear birth naturally evokes as a memento of death, I should not hand over, out of that fear, my God-given authority over my baby and my birth to anyone but Him. From that point on I felt a strong sense of peace about the safety of our plans.

The Wait

It was June, the middle of a heatwave, and my “due date” had come and gone with no discernible sign that our fourth baby would be making her move any time soon. The time past my due date was a real trial for me. It seemed to both postpone and extend my suffering, as my willingness to endure the work before me waned under the heavy weight of the end of pregnancy.  I wanted so badly to be on the other side of birth, relishing the joy of holding my baby in my arms, knowing that labor was behind me. And yet as each long day drew to a close, my strength felt spent and I battled against fear that labor would begin that night and I wouldn’t feel up to the task.

Despite being my first home birth, I wasn’t fearing safety or the possibility of something going wrong. I was simply remembering the intensity of pain I’d experienced in my other unmedicated births. My fears were landing specifically on those moments of transition when the intensity seems to grow larger than narrow confines of my body. In my past labors, this is when I’d always felt a loss of control and cried for help, protesting that I couldn’t do it. These moments brought me to the utter end of my own abilities—truly a death to self. Having experienced them before, I knew they were short lived, and that the joy that would follow would be so worthwhile. Still, I seemed to feel only weakness as my hour approached. I surrendered myself and my baby over and over again to the providential timing and care of God, knowing that labor would begin when it was meant to and begging God to be present with me, providing His peace and strength from my very first contraction to the last.

On Friday the 20^th, as my husband, Peter, was coming down the steps with our St. Raymond Nonnatus candle to light during our rosary, I felt a contraction that I immediately knew was different from the many Braxton Hicks I’d been experiencing. I tried practicing relaxing my body through it, but again began to feel anxious at the thought that labor was beginning. I talked through what I was feeling with my husband that night and when I went up to bed I looked over the birth affirmations I had hung in my room. The one that stood out to me was Isaiah 40:29-31:

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength… but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

These words brought great consolation and peace to my weak and anxious heart. I didn’t need to be strong enough for the work before me. He would be my strength. The contractions continued very sporadically that night, and while I had a sense labor was not picking up, I laid in bed practicing relaxing through the waves until about 3 a.m. when they must have stopped because I then slept until morning.

The Birth

The next day I had a scheduled prenatal appointment and CST session with my midwife, which I had my husband drive me to because I was still having inconsistent contractions. I texted my mom that she should head our way, and she had arrived by the time we got back from the appointment. That afternoon my husband took our three kids over to the local parish festival while my mom and I stayed home (which is fun to recall because my four year old had unicorn face paint on when she met her sister!). We chatted and walked and at one point I went to the bathroom and noticed I was losing my mucus plug. I was still not having contractions in any discernable pattern and there were very long stretches between them.

I went upstairs to shower, rest, and listen to the Made for This Birth affirmations. I came down for dinner but had very little appetite. My mom got the kids ready for bed and then we all settled in to watch a family movie. By the end of the movie, around 9 p.m., I noticed my contractions were about 10 minutes apart. Between 9-10 p.m., my husband and I both began quietly preparing some things while my contractions remained consistent but very manageable. My focus in this labor and labor prep was very much on the fact that labor is natural and the sensations of labor are good.

Around 10 p.m. I had a contraction that felt strong and yet still so manageable. I softened myself into it and even smiled, filled with a flooding sense that this was really, finally happening. I immediately had another contraction on top of that, which hit me hard with much more intensity. The next two contractions were intense and about six minutes apart. Because of distance my midwife told us to call her whenever I noticed my contractions getting stronger and closer together. Peter called around 10:15 p.m., and my midwife and her assistant (who was also her daughter) arrived by 11 p.m. They began setting up their supplies and helped Peter get the birth pool ready.

Throughout this time, I was laboring kneeling next to my bed with my arms and head resting on the bed. My midwife offered me ice cold wash cloths, which I was used on my forehead, neck, and lower back. When I felt a contraction rising, I’d ask her to replace the wash cloths and then I’d turn on my birth affirmation track, sway my hips and relax my body through it. This combo worked so, so well for me.

Around 12:15 a.m., I told Peter that I was unsure how I was progressing because I was not yet overwhelmed by the intensity. He reminded me of all the work I had put in to prepare my mind and body for this labor, and my midwife reassured me that labor can feel very different when you don’t leave home. I’m amazed at how true this turned out to be for me. All throughout the labor I was still having bouts of shakiness and nerves, but I was surrendering. Around 12:30 a.m. I decided to get in the pool, feeling the need to switch things up. My contractions became more intense, but also spaced out, giving me time to rest. I only had one contraction in the water before feeling the pressure of my baby descending. Silent up to this point, I began to moan lowly, which my midwife must have taken as a cue that I could start pushing soon because without a word she came closer to the pool.

By the third contraction I felt my water break and said so. I was focusing on just breathing and not pushing too hard yet to avoid tearing. In the break between contractions, I looked at Peter and said, “we’re doing it!” It was surreal at that moment to think that she was already coming after only a few hours of laboring peacefully. All my babies have been born one or two contractions after my water breaking, and this time was no exception. Two contractions later I reached my hand down and pushed her out—“she’s born!” I announced, as she came into the world all in one push.

My midwife helped me lift her out of the water and onto my chest. Our Anneliese Sophia was born just when God intended her to be - at 1:15 a.m. on June 22 - twelve days after my due date.

After nursing her for a bit in the pool and birthing my placenta, getting into my own bed was the most wonderful feeling. My husband got skin-to-skin time with Anneliese while my midwife and her assistant helped me get situated. They did her newborn assessment right there on our bed.

She was so content and alert, and continues to be the sweetest gift to our family. Her siblings all got to meet her within hours after her birth.

Unmedicated vs Physiological

I was truly amazed by the difference between experiencing an unmedicated hospital birth and a physiological birth at home.

Instead of being induced at 39 weeks, I experienced no pressure going 12 days past my due date.

Instead of multiple nurses struggling to place an IV in me during transition due to dehydration, I took sips of mineral rich drinks between every contraction.

Instead of being told I had to wait to have my cervix checked (for the 4^th time) before I could start pushing, my midwife silently supported me when she noticed I was getting ready to push. I did not get a single cervical check throughout pregnancy or labor.

Instead of having multiple tears and an episiotomy stitched up while trying to bond with my baby, I had experienced minimal tearing and bleeding that didn’t require stitches for the first time.

Instead of fighting a system that was hijacking my nervous system and the hormonal cascade of labor, I supported and allowed my body to do what it was designed to do.

This all allowed me to experience an incredibly powerful and yet peaceful birth that I’d truly describe as intense rather than painful. My view of birth and God's design are now forever changed.

Bethany is a wife and homeschooling mother of four with a Masters in Theology from the John Paul II Institute in Washington, DC. She resides with her husband and children in central PA. You can find her on Instagram here.